Beda: Day 4: Allergic Reactions

So today I was sick for a while.  I'm actually probably still sick.   That's the horrible thing about being sick is that it doesn't really just go away.   You have to barrel through it.   And you know, if it was just that I may have survived without medication.   But as always things couldn't be that f'ing simple.

So for those of you who don't know I take a stage makeup class.   In the time that I've been in this class I've never used the spirit gum till today which was honestly probably a good thing.   It's a special adhesive used for sticking stuff to skin and stuff for the screen and stage because sometimes you have to look a little different.

Today, our assignment was to do a scar which we did on our inner forearm which is a very reachable place and also probably a lot less sensitive than face skin.   So I got my scar made out of tissue done and i paint some of the spirit gum on my arm, not a big deal.   Lay down the scar, still not a big deal.   Everything goes fine until I start to put the massive amount of spirit gum it takes to keep this magical scar in place at which point my arm starts to itch.

I didn't really think anything of it.  I have sensitive skin that can change what it likes and dislikes on a dime.   So I just thought I was being a wuss about this, until I took the scar off, at which point where it had been laid started forming a rash.  And people started freaking out around me.   So yeah, I took my spirit gum remover which was within reach and basically got it off as quickly as I could and then the rash went down which was good, turned out to be just an irritant that I have to be careful of.   I love being in the theater but having sensitive skin is really hard in the business.   Just have to live and learn.  And that's what I've done. 

Doesn't seem as scary now, but it certainly did in that moment when everyone else was freaking out about me which normally doesn't happen at all.

Beda: Day 2: Procrastination

Okay, so I'm reminded of a joke from a meekakitty video.   She said that her choir teacher told it.   He would ask "Who here is good at procrastination"....and then people would raise their hand and then he would say "Then, why do need to keep practicing it?" 

And yeah, I kind of wish that I had someone ask me that like a week ago when I should have been doing all this work that I'm doing right now.   Thankfully, good news is that I got all the printing done and now it's all writing the write ups.   Well, it's getting there.   From the time this is coming to you, I've probably been working on the writing for about an hour or two and I've gotten about half of it done.   And yeah, it's amazing what kind of fire you can get in when the fear of failing gets to you.

And I've always known I work the best under this kind of pressure that I have a deadline and I have to get it done and if I don't buckle down and do it immediately, that nothing will be done and there will be consequences.   But usually I have at least some of it done before the mass writing spree that is things that I do.  So yeah, I'm feeling a little stressed.   I did however get PADA and VEDA done for today before I settled into the thick of the article reading and stuff.

This is the first like really intensive project that I've had to do this semester and I feel a little bad for letting it slack for as long as I did, but it's not like there's something that I can do about it and at the end of the day if this is what I need to, I guess there's no arguing with that.   And it is good for my skin.   The crazy skin I have which constantly craves the stress.   Seriously, on Spring Break and relaxing weekends and stuff, I break out but such is not the case when I've got four major projects going on at the same time.   So anyway, yeah.   I just needed to talk about that. 

Because yeah, my life for the next couple of day is going to be articles whenever I can.   Hope this assignment comes out okay. :]

I'm attempting it: BEDA, VEDA, and PADA.

So yeah, I knew for a long time I was going to do VEDA (Vlog everday in April) but really decide to BEDA (Blog Everday in April) or PADA (Photo A Day in April) until well today.   Because I feel like I don't really have a lot going on and I want to spend as much time being creative as freaking possible, I'm doing all three.   I don't really know why.   But here it goes.   The journey begins.

Now I've already done my vlog for today and that was quite curious and kind of funny which I wil embed in this post at the end, and I've already done my picture which can be found at (The Photo Life Nina) , but now it's time for my blog post and rather than introducing for the entire post, I wondered what to write about and then it hit me.   I need to write about those things that really matter to me.   I really want to talk about being creative.

I've never not wanted to be a creative person.   The first job I can ever remember wanting as a kid was a professional writer.  I knew back then that making something, creating, was in my bones.   And I don't really approach that in any kind of special way.  When I want to create something, I do.   I've written excellent stories on this mentality and leaves me unfettered by that pesky writer's block or creativity block most of the time.   I'm not saying that it's not a monster in my life because as a creative person I don't think you can get away from it, but I think that sometimes it's easier to misdirect than it is sometimes portrayed.

That being said that sometimes it's not always the most efficient way to get things done and sometimes I need that schedule because I live for the routine even though that kills me a little bit inside.  So maybe doing this will do some good.  I already know that from filming, making a habit of doing something everyday makes it feel weird when I don't do it.   So let's carry that on into the rest of my creative processes.    Hopefully it won't suck and hopefully some of the gems that come out of this whole mess of creativity, I will be happy with because god knows what will happen if I'm not happy with at least some of it.   Actually nothing will actually happen.   I'm just being dramatic, like I do.

Still, this is a good thing and I'm excited even if it seems all very stressful right now.  Wish me luck! I love you guys and I hope you like this content that will coming at your faces in the next month.

Judgment

It doesn't matter how many times someone says that they liked what you did, if they don't pick you it's always a little bit heartbreaking.  

And yes, I speak from experience.  many many many times.   The reason that it's relevant right now is I entered this contest to potentially go to a convention that could quite possibly change my life.   There were about 70 contestants including myself, and I didn't get into the top ten.   Now, I know that's not something I should bummed about but I am.

I won't stop making videos, but it's really hard to be judged and not be good enough to be on someone's top list.  Especially when no matter how irrational or unjustified it is, you felt like you were better than some of the people who got into the top ten.   Still, I'm glad my friend got in to that top ten and I'm glad that she'll have that chance.   Because she's freaking awesome.   It would have been a little less awesome to compete against her.

Seriously, I'm glad I didn't have to.  I'd never have won that way.   She definitely deserves that.   Still, keep being awesome, because I love you guys soo much.