Beda: Day 26: Keeping up.

Coffee in bed is wonderful.  Especially when you have only the nightstand light on, it's like starring in a film that's written about you.   The weird and strange you that people find quirky but loveable and while Coffee is certainly a great goddess in my life, she's not the thing I want to talk about, those she does make me look quite film-ly.

Today, I thought would be good for some introspection on how we've been doing.  Now, other than that mishap this week of essentially falling asleep while I was doing 80 million things and forgetting to post, I've done this everyday for 26 days.    That's pretty amazing.   Honestly, it's what I wanted from this blog.   I wanted it to be a daily thing full of love like this.   With weird little dabbles of what I've been up too and funny stories from me.   That's what I wanted.   I wanted something that my kids could say mommy was crazy or mommy had some strange antics and opinions.  This is something I've wanted.

I've also been trying to be good about doing them at consistent times with sometimes changing it up a little bit because some creative challenges are good for the soul.  

But yeah, we're keeping it up because we're cool kids like that.    I never thought that this dream would become a reality.  a place where I can live my thoughts and memories behind and then getting into theatre and fillm is just brilliant and there are so many things to do.   I mean there were so many people that I want to please but there are also so many people that I don't give a fuck about it.   But this is for everyone.   This is who I am and who I want to be.   The crossrads seems a definite choice right now that's a not a very hard choice to choose from

Beda: Day 25: Creative Chaos.

You know, there's something that feels so right about being in a clean room.

I'm not saying that for no purpose.   Good news on the productivity front, I cleaned my room today and god it feels so good to be in a clean room rather than one that has everything everywhere.   I mean I like all the stuff being in the room but sometimes you have to get some of the stuff out of your life.   I don't care who you are.  It's just part of life and growing up.   Sometimes, the best way to detox is to throw stuff away.   My 13 year old self would not believe I would be giving myself this advice, but it's true 13 year old me.   We're throwing stuff away and you're going to like it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my creative chaos as much as the next person and it's all very nice to have that freedom of putting things anywhere, but sometimes you just need to contain it to boxes.   And really I guess that was all I was really looking for.  Because I mean things were getting everywhere and I just I couldn't think with all the things thinking at once and being like "Hey, we need lives too.   You're gonna pay attention to us right?" 

On the list of successful things I've done today, that has not been the only thing though.  I got a photo done.  And I got my dance paper turned in.   Not sure if the paper made any sense or I just repeated the one sentence in different words a bunch of times, but who know?   I don't even care.   I'm just gonna be superfly right now and just be like "fuck it, I get what I get"  I know that's not a great attitude to have towards classwork, but it's been a long semester and I just want to finish.   I however, have not, started on my makeup morgue which I actually need to get cracking on.   So I suppose tomorrow when I have free time I should do that.  

For right now, I'm going to count the little things.   I've been very good about getting stuff done on time and when it needed to be turned in.   So I have confidence in myself that I'll do it this time too.   Just can't worry.

Seriously, being in a clean room makes me really relaxed and it didn't even take that long.  Only a couple of hours and most of that was sorting through some of the junk that I was like, um, I should probably throw this out already and I already have that file stored on my computer, I can junk it.  But hey, sometimes you just got to think about those moments.

Hope everyone had a great day and I wish you all the best for tomorrow. 

Beda: Day 24: Successes.

There were lots of successes today.   School work while not being especially kind to me, does provide me with that key motivation toward success.    Even in creative projects like this one, probably most especially in creative projects like this one because I get so inspired when I have to do something else that I don't want to do, that I can't help but come and write at my computer for hours, in the name of career and art.

But today in English we took a citizenship test which I knew I could past most of it.  I knew I knew most of the answers and even with just these thirty questions, there was a good sampling of easy and hard questions, but evne hearing some of my class mates try to declare that there were 52 states today just made me weep a little bit.   These are all people registered with the state to go to college, so they are all residents and they don't know how many freaking states there are.   I mean above all other things at least know how many freaking states there are.   Have a little dignity.

Then there was acting where I got to act like a mean southern lady which never ceases to be of enjoyment.   It was just something to be marveled at.   I think we pulled it off rahter well, especially being one of the first female couples to go on.   

And then it was home to do my dance paper and that took for freaking ever.  Partially because it took forever to even work up the motivation to get to it and then I had to be looking for little plug in points and it just wasn't fun.   I mean eventually it got finished, but dear god the whole thing is a meshugunah.   And yes, I probably partially mad that word up, but you know what? Don't care.   Not my problem.   So yes, that's done though and it's so fantastic.   Especially for getting some of these assingments on Monday, I think I did reasonably in coping with the pressures of everything.

But overall, very kind of calm day, there were just a lot of assignments that I did not find highly amusing and you know what?  I'm in college and these things happen, but I just need to remember to take a deep breath and just float alone like the wonderful butterfly that I am.

Hope you guys thoroughly enjoyed your night and are going to have a good morning because seriously, I need to bed right now.   And this is goodbye.

Bye x,
Love you.

Beda: Day 18: An Inspirational Quote.

Okay, so I'm going to make this one kind of quick, not that I don't love the blog, it's just that I've got like four other things to do and right now, I don't really have anything interesting to say.  

Basically, I wrote my paper which I need to get from my paper and I need to go get a shower and do the picture for today, and that will take some incredible time.  So for these reasons, I think I will impart on you, at least for now at this very juncture, a quote from a great person on twitter.

"You came from a woman, so you have no right to disrespect one." -- AyyLucky

Now, I will tell you that this quote is incredible because it came from a dude.  I mean I love dudes.  I find them hilarious, but seriously?  That's freaking amazing.  And it wasn't a retweet, that was all him and just it blows my mind whenever people do something like this, that restores a little faith in humanity.   Because there are people out there who know what's right and will keep fighting for it, even if it's not going to benefit them in any way!

Beda: Day 16: A Rage Within?

Okay, so I've changed my background.   And to be quite honest, I'm not sure if I'm happy with it.  I mean I like the color of it, but I don't know, maybe it's the pattern or how there is not a lot of color in it, that's not agreeing with me.  But I'm not totally in favor of it.   But I did want something that was new and different and for now, that seems to be circles.   Tell me if you hate it, please?  Because if you hate it then I'll change it right away, but for right now, I guess it can stay.   Maybe I'll get used to it and like it for awhile.   I'll give it about till day 20 in BEDA and if I'm still not impressed then we're going to be changing, how about that?

So today, I got to play with clay which is one of the most thrilling experiences I've had in College.   Like I've met a lot of cool people and learned a lot of really neat things but really, none of that comes with the thrill factor of getting to work with some clay.   I mean I just love it.   I find it to be really relaxing and soothing and knowing what i'm doing is always a plus.  That's always fun.   I really enjoy that part. 

Mondays and Wednesdays are my very artistic days.   I go from Stage Makeup to Dance class which I currently just kind of watch, because of my bummed out leg, and then I go to Anthropology in which we are doing a facial reconstruction which starts out very artistically.   And so I do enjoy that part of my week.   It's very fulfilling to sit there and go to class and just have my mind exploded with all of this art.  Because ultimately that's what I want to do with my life is to create some kind of art.   I've said it before but it really can't be overstated.  I want to come out of somewhere and go that's what I want to do everyday and that's never happened if it hasn't been for my art.

Tomorrow I have to wear a skirt or a dress.   I'm still debating.  I was supposed to decide tonight but obviously that didn't happen.   I wish it had, but I can't exactly beg for anything.   Still, I just hope my partner knows her lines and everything goes smoothly.   Seriously, I might get violent if it doesn't because I worked really hard on this scene for it to be wasted by another person.   That's just not going to happen.   I won't let it.   I refuse to let someone sink my ship.   And maybe she had a good reason for bailing on me, but I can't really ever see that when she had more than enough oppurtunities to schedule with me, but didn't.   And yes, I was a little bit of a bitch and didn't answer her text today, but I was legitimately in class and that's exactly what I'm going to tell her tomorrow.   She doesn't like, she can suck it.

Oh and this was nearly late, because I almost forgot about it, but hey it's all good now right?  Because I got to you guys and you guys got a nice long slightly rant-y diatribe about what's happening in my life.   Sorry bout that.  Maybe it'll be different tomorrow.

Beda: Day 11: The Freaking Fire Alarm.

So today was an interesting day.  I didn't really have time to tell you guys about it earlier.    Well, technically that's not actually true.  I did have time.   I was just using that time to start writing a work of fictional lit.   Which is fine.  That's what I do.  You guys know I like doing that.   Because you have seen "Enigma" because I posted it here.   So you guys know about me being that kind of person.  But no, that wasn't even what it was all about.

So I went to Stage Makeup and we did eighteenth century ladies which always becomes this garish almost clown like makeup because these women were crazy.   And that was all good.   The results of that are in the vlog today and so it should be really good.  I think I'm going to unlist the clip of me taking all the makeup off.  I think that would be interesting for people to see.   I just don't know what's being discussed on the clip or what is possibly playing on my computer because it's quite possible that I'm playing music in the background. 

But yeah, I took the makeup off and got all of my stuff ready and I'm watching my bestie braid another friend's hair when THE FREAKING FIRE ALARM GOES OFF.  In the theatre building.  Last time that happened, I had like a whole cast of actors taking care of me and freaking out.   Because I'm epileptic and they love their stupid flashy lights for the fire alarm at school.   And my teacher was like oh, it's not a big deal and then we had to explain the whole thing which needless to say freaked her out a little bit.   But I got outside safely and without having any problems.   The strangest part was that they didn't know it was going on.   They had no clue what was going.   What happened?  Still not even sure. 

So I was a little bit anxious, but we were allowed to go back into the building and so me and my bestie went to dance class and it went off again right as I set down my stuff.   I headed out the doorway only for them to tell me it was a false alarm.   Now, needless to say, I'm like always accompanied when there is a fire alarm going off in the building because I pretty much have to stare straight down at the ground or close my eyes and need someone to guide me.   So this is a little insane.   But I got out of dance class because I didn't need to be around that and it was only that building that was going off.  Hopefully, they'll have fixed it by tomorrow.

But yeah, so I wrote for a long while.   Because I had wanted to do that for a couple of days and I just had a couple of things that I needed to that got in the way.  But today I got to write 1000 words.   So that was fun.   I really like getting into that zone where I can just type away.   It's a nice feeling.   And talking about that, I want to get back to it, so I'll see you soon.  

Beda: Day 10: Matt and Andrew.

So yeah, I almost forgot to do my blog and photo tonight but I'm doing it.  I'm doing this.   I'm not failing these challenges.   So now we talk about the day and stuff.   Because that's what people do on blogs and I'm like a legitimate person of letters.   Yes, ten o'clock and I forget these things but when there is still time.

So today was Matt Bomer day which to anyone who isn't me or one of my friends is the name I gave today because Glee was on and Matt Bomer was guest-starring.   He's just plain gorgeous.  I mean in my VEDA, I gave you my celebrity crush as Jack Davenport, but let's not be unreal, I have a lot of celebrity crushes and Matt is one of them.   I mean it's hard not to like him.   He just seems so damn nice and he acts well and he's gorgeous.   He's all the best qualities wrapped up into one man.

Today, I also got to really get in depth into the mind of Cecily Cardew who I thoroughly enjoy as a character.   She's quite unlike many of the other characters I have played who always kind of have these over the top emotions or feelings.   And Cecily is kind of wonderfully normal.   I adore her for that because it's so different to be.

And I watched all the monday shows which I didn't get to yesterday, there were many things that I could tell you about but most of that would bore you.   This blog after all is not about all the TV shows I watch but indeed about my life.   Keeping with that, there was not really much at all going on in my life.

Oh, wait a minute!  There is one thing.  While Browsing twitter today, I thought I had not been following Andrew Slack, the director of the Harry Potter alliance.   So I went to look for him and found that I was following him.   Naturally, of course, I tweeted about this funny story.   And he tweeted me back.  HE TWEETED ME BACK!  That was so freaking insane.   I feel like a prepubescent girl at a one direction concert.   And then he followed me which was just a great more deal of pleasure.   So yeah, that was the really interesting part of the day.

Beda: Day 3: Compliments and Hard Work

With my latest blog post about how i've been horribly procrastinating on my assignment which is do tomorrow, I've become a little more confident in things.   I've done some beautiful work in the past twenty four hours, typing reviews and printing articles like a boss. 

Honestly, I think I needed someone to be responsible to.   I know it seems weird, but since I posted that blog I've had that feeling of "someone will be disappointed in me if I don't do this." and so I've done it.  I knew I needed to do it before and I even knew that the deadline was tomorrow, I just didn't do it.   Not until I really set myself up to do it.  Which meant telling the entire world about what I haven't done yet.   And yes, I'm a little bit ashamed of myself for having to stoop to that level, but it gave me the encouragement I needed.  

Now, I've got twenty-five articles done with just five more to go to review.   Compared to the fact that none were done before this week, I put that in the plus column.   I can do things that I don't like to do, I just have to work harder at them and have the inspiration to do them.   Which is why I love the internet sooo much.   I pretty much live here and you guys are my roommates ready to call me out on not doing my shit.   Because you won't take it.  People want to see the best for me.   And that's what I get just from writing these little BEDA blogs on the internet.

On a more positive note of schoolworthy things, I got my critique back from my professor in acting for my shakespeare monologue.   Let me first preface this whole paragraph with the fact that I've known this man for three semesters and he makes me want to be better.   I've always taken what he says to heart.   I like his feedback, I think it's insightful.   Most of all, I just respect him so much.   He gave me the best review he's given me.   And anything else just vanished.   All the crap I dealt with during the day, it just went out into the universe because he cared about my work and liked it.   And he's a teacher that I know wouldn't just blow smoke at me because he thinks it would make me feel better.   He really is committed to seeing all of his actors do their best work.

School is one of those things I find so enamouring.   I find the idea that I can learn so many new skill sets just a wonder.   I want to learn as much as I possibly can and it makes me feel like the absolute best to be in a class with people who care.   So far, I've been very lucky in that I've met people and had classes that I really truly cared about.   There was one class that was hard and I didn't really care about, but it was the exception to the rule.  I find that I might be the only person I know who shares that opinion of school.   There is so much to explore and learn out there, why wouldn't you want to have that knowledge?  With so many things to do, why not try them all?

Beda: Day 2: Procrastination

Okay, so I'm reminded of a joke from a meekakitty video.   She said that her choir teacher told it.   He would ask "Who here is good at procrastination"....and then people would raise their hand and then he would say "Then, why do need to keep practicing it?" 

And yeah, I kind of wish that I had someone ask me that like a week ago when I should have been doing all this work that I'm doing right now.   Thankfully, good news is that I got all the printing done and now it's all writing the write ups.   Well, it's getting there.   From the time this is coming to you, I've probably been working on the writing for about an hour or two and I've gotten about half of it done.   And yeah, it's amazing what kind of fire you can get in when the fear of failing gets to you.

And I've always known I work the best under this kind of pressure that I have a deadline and I have to get it done and if I don't buckle down and do it immediately, that nothing will be done and there will be consequences.   But usually I have at least some of it done before the mass writing spree that is things that I do.  So yeah, I'm feeling a little stressed.   I did however get PADA and VEDA done for today before I settled into the thick of the article reading and stuff.

This is the first like really intensive project that I've had to do this semester and I feel a little bad for letting it slack for as long as I did, but it's not like there's something that I can do about it and at the end of the day if this is what I need to, I guess there's no arguing with that.   And it is good for my skin.   The crazy skin I have which constantly craves the stress.   Seriously, on Spring Break and relaxing weekends and stuff, I break out but such is not the case when I've got four major projects going on at the same time.   So anyway, yeah.   I just needed to talk about that. 

Because yeah, my life for the next couple of day is going to be articles whenever I can.   Hope this assignment comes out okay. :]