It's been more than a week and I'm sorry for that. I will try to keep a bit better tabs on this thing. But let's talk about this week and why I've been a bit too busy to entertain you. The main reason is that I contracted the tiny chickens disease.
For those of you who are not nerdfighters, that means I came down with a cold. What happened was kind of like this. Day one: Bad Headaches. Day Two: Bad headaches and appetite kind of out of wonk. Day Three: Snot and Crap. Day Four: Oh my god, please let me die, because this is just horrible. So yeah, I have been sick now for about a week and things are finally starting to turn up. There's no headaches. Finally, there's starting to be less snot and stuff, but the chickens seem to be evacuating my nasal cavity so that is all good.
The other things are that I like to be extremely loud when I type so on Sunday on the worst of me being sick, we (meaning me, my three younger siblings, and our five dogs) were relegated to the upstairs and had to be super effing quiet because my mother was filming in our downstairs which was more or less a nightmare for me. So typing was basically, in my room, trying to be as quiet as I possibly could while being sick and kind of just hating life in general.
On monday, I went to go babysit some kids and just didn't think to blog. Probably wouldn't have been that interesting anyway.
But I have also finished another book to add to the Books I've read collection page, so I'm glad to have done that. I read Maureen Johnson's "13 Little Blue Envelopes" and it was FANTASTIC. It was an easy read. I started it on Monday and finished it today but I really only read in chunks of like one or two hours. So that was nice. It was really super quick and something I would recommend to a few people. Because it was like being on an adventure without having to pay for it.
Oh, I've also written words. I don't know if I told you last time how many words I was at, but currently I'm at 18K, almost 19K and so it's going along smoothly. Once I finish it, I will tell you what it's about but the crazy thing about my brain is that I don't like to tell anyone. I keep the goal inside or else I'll never do it. And so I thank you guys for your patience, but it's gonna be here I promise.
Video blogging is a thing I should get back to. I haven't done it in awhile and that's something I want to do again. I wasn't going to do it while I was sick and there was a couple of other things that were just affecting a lot of stuff. But I'm back on being on the road to completing things. Hopefully, you'll see me soon.
DFTBA Darlings,
Nina x
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Writing and Design.
With all the craziness of school and a couple of other things, I've neglected my poor little blog and I'm sorry for that. My dad is leaving tomorrow and I've already had the pangs because I know he's going to leave. And that kind precognition does not make things easier. As I've grown up and understood more of the fatality around the world, it gets scarier to let him go without a swell of emotion. But this isn't entirely about that. This is about being in a place where I can write again.
I'm writing what could concievably become a book. I've written about 6K in words and I'm very excited for this. Because it means I'm writing again. And it doesn't mean it's great, but I just want to get back into it. I want to say this first and foremost, my books don't particularly mention race, so they could be given to the mind's eye as whatever color the reader feels comfortable with, but in my mind, I've always seen them as white. It's not because I don't like other races, it's just that's what I'm most comfortable with.
I feel like if, hypothetically, I were really rich and famous from my books and I were to come out and say that even though my books do not portray skin color as a defining factor of that I might be ostracized because I don't care. I mean the color of the person on the book doesn't really matter to me so much as the people inside the book. And I tend to get books that have less of a person on them and more with an abstract design that totally represents some part of the book. It's not that I don't like books with people on the covers, because that's not true, but it's just something I've been thinking about.
Because I eventually want my books to go into print and I want them to be accessible to all readers, not just the ones who pick it up because they like the person on the front of the book. That's silly. I don't like to do it that way. But I'll be updating you guys on how this is going and hopefully it will become something wonderful.
Let's just say that if I could finish two novels this year, I would be extremely happy. I would be over the moon. That would just be so incredible. I've always wanted to do this. I've always wanted to be a novelist, but up until recently, I've never found that I could complete them. Maybe this has started a new chapter in my life and if it has, I'm incredibly excited to see where it leads because this is just as much of a mystery to me as it is to you. Thanks for being with me. Thanks for taking the time and knowing I had to relax. I'll always come back to you guys though. I always do.
I'm writing what could concievably become a book. I've written about 6K in words and I'm very excited for this. Because it means I'm writing again. And it doesn't mean it's great, but I just want to get back into it. I want to say this first and foremost, my books don't particularly mention race, so they could be given to the mind's eye as whatever color the reader feels comfortable with, but in my mind, I've always seen them as white. It's not because I don't like other races, it's just that's what I'm most comfortable with.
I feel like if, hypothetically, I were really rich and famous from my books and I were to come out and say that even though my books do not portray skin color as a defining factor of that I might be ostracized because I don't care. I mean the color of the person on the book doesn't really matter to me so much as the people inside the book. And I tend to get books that have less of a person on them and more with an abstract design that totally represents some part of the book. It's not that I don't like books with people on the covers, because that's not true, but it's just something I've been thinking about.
Because I eventually want my books to go into print and I want them to be accessible to all readers, not just the ones who pick it up because they like the person on the front of the book. That's silly. I don't like to do it that way. But I'll be updating you guys on how this is going and hopefully it will become something wonderful.
Let's just say that if I could finish two novels this year, I would be extremely happy. I would be over the moon. That would just be so incredible. I've always wanted to do this. I've always wanted to be a novelist, but up until recently, I've never found that I could complete them. Maybe this has started a new chapter in my life and if it has, I'm incredibly excited to see where it leads because this is just as much of a mystery to me as it is to you. Thanks for being with me. Thanks for taking the time and knowing I had to relax. I'll always come back to you guys though. I always do.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Beda: Day 30: Thoughts from the end.
So this is the last Blog in a row for BEDA but there's a lot going on. I want to do a lot and this blog was certainly one of the best things that I've done in a long time. Doing a bunch of creative projects at the same time, while having to deal with pesky things like finals and family.
Still in the place that I've been put in, I can't say I'm not glad to have it be done with the whole thing. I mean I've been having some trouble keeping up with the whole thing. I want to just sleep and relax a little and while not doing the blog for a couple of days might let me do that, it's more about the fact that I'm going to be done very soon with the finals and things.
It is really nice having this blog though to record my voice and thoughts. It'll be nice to get back to it eventually. Hopefully, it won't be too long before I get back to it. Because enjoyment is the spice of life and I'm getting it from doing this. Even just typing the words on the keyboard gives me some joy.
I haven't been especially creative this month in anything else other than vlogging and blogging and doing the photo, but I'm doing it. I'm figuring it out and I think that's all I can ask for. Just to have it work out.
I hope anyone out there reading this is doing well. Keep it going and show some love to someone you think could use it. Because who knows, you could very well make that person's and it's something beautiful.
Living is something that's hard enough, but when we get bogged down with all the crap, it's very hard to see the great things staring us in the face. And while I'm in that place bogged down with all the crap, it's getting easier to see through the fog. Being tough is not necessarily my way of life, but it is something I try to do whenever I can.
Still in the place that I've been put in, I can't say I'm not glad to have it be done with the whole thing. I mean I've been having some trouble keeping up with the whole thing. I want to just sleep and relax a little and while not doing the blog for a couple of days might let me do that, it's more about the fact that I'm going to be done very soon with the finals and things.
It is really nice having this blog though to record my voice and thoughts. It'll be nice to get back to it eventually. Hopefully, it won't be too long before I get back to it. Because enjoyment is the spice of life and I'm getting it from doing this. Even just typing the words on the keyboard gives me some joy.
I haven't been especially creative this month in anything else other than vlogging and blogging and doing the photo, but I'm doing it. I'm figuring it out and I think that's all I can ask for. Just to have it work out.
I hope anyone out there reading this is doing well. Keep it going and show some love to someone you think could use it. Because who knows, you could very well make that person's and it's something beautiful.
Living is something that's hard enough, but when we get bogged down with all the crap, it's very hard to see the great things staring us in the face. And while I'm in that place bogged down with all the crap, it's getting easier to see through the fog. Being tough is not necessarily my way of life, but it is something I try to do whenever I can.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Beda: Day 23: Failure.
So yes, technically I failed for Day 23 but I was really busy with other things like writing upwards of four papers during the day, creating two video blogs, and still not picking out two of my three monologues I have to do. I'm sorry, things got in the way and I got so tired I forgot about BEDA, but it won't happen again. I'm actually really proud of myself up till this point. I've only missed one day on both BEDA and PADA and I'm still even going back and making it up to myself because I need the consolation of thirty.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Beda: Day 21: My Editing Process.
I never knew how exactly hard yet easy it was going to be to edit a novel. I mean I've written things before and reworked them and gone back and cringed at old work I had sitting on the internet, but revising this is an entirely new ballgame.
First of all, it's not something I can just do on my computer. I actually had to print it out so it was easier to read and see what changes I wanted to make. Mostly because if I don't agree with these changes later, I don't have to make them and I can throw the draft out. And by throw out, I do mean recycle because that would a lot of paper to just waste on putting in the wrong bin. Seriously this manuscript is over 60 pages.
It's easy in the fact that this doesn't really feel like my work. I can critique at a distance and put the much needed edits into it. Which is something I never thought I would be able to do. I'm typically more assured in my work than that and it's often not till several years later when I'm bored and decided to have a read at some of my old work that I realize how much I could have used an edit button. I truly mean that. But no, that part is actually going remarkably great. I'm also not at that point where everything is total crap, like writers often go through. I just I have the distance and that's what I needed.
It's hard in the fact that it is very technically time consuming. I often have to read paragraphs or sentences over again because I'm not sure how they feel. I have to mull them around. And that's a little bit frustrating. As someone who virtually has a judgment on something the second she is presented with it, this mulling process is fairly long and laborious. And that maddens me a little bit. For the past two days I've been editing on and off and I've only gotten through 8 pages. Not even 8. Like 7 and 3/4. And that was only the first two chapters. There are at least like 20 Chapters in the whole thing. I don't exactly remember.
This manuscript has all the words I wrote and I'll always be incredibly proud of that, but I'm really glad I'm taking this time to make it better. To see what else to do with it. And I think this is making me a better writer. I can see what works for me and what doesn't. And no, I'ven't finshed the novel for this year. It's still on my list of things to do, but I work best under pressure and I wrote this novel in November, maybe I'll write all my novels via NaNoWriMo.
Maybe in November when NaNoWriMo comes around I'll have to blog about how well things are going without giving any details away because then I'm never motivated to finish. And I'm determined to write a novel this year. Again. Because I like writing. And While I love doing blogposts, my heart is with the fiction.
First of all, it's not something I can just do on my computer. I actually had to print it out so it was easier to read and see what changes I wanted to make. Mostly because if I don't agree with these changes later, I don't have to make them and I can throw the draft out. And by throw out, I do mean recycle because that would a lot of paper to just waste on putting in the wrong bin. Seriously this manuscript is over 60 pages.
It's easy in the fact that this doesn't really feel like my work. I can critique at a distance and put the much needed edits into it. Which is something I never thought I would be able to do. I'm typically more assured in my work than that and it's often not till several years later when I'm bored and decided to have a read at some of my old work that I realize how much I could have used an edit button. I truly mean that. But no, that part is actually going remarkably great. I'm also not at that point where everything is total crap, like writers often go through. I just I have the distance and that's what I needed.
It's hard in the fact that it is very technically time consuming. I often have to read paragraphs or sentences over again because I'm not sure how they feel. I have to mull them around. And that's a little bit frustrating. As someone who virtually has a judgment on something the second she is presented with it, this mulling process is fairly long and laborious. And that maddens me a little bit. For the past two days I've been editing on and off and I've only gotten through 8 pages. Not even 8. Like 7 and 3/4. And that was only the first two chapters. There are at least like 20 Chapters in the whole thing. I don't exactly remember.
This manuscript has all the words I wrote and I'll always be incredibly proud of that, but I'm really glad I'm taking this time to make it better. To see what else to do with it. And I think this is making me a better writer. I can see what works for me and what doesn't. And no, I'ven't finshed the novel for this year. It's still on my list of things to do, but I work best under pressure and I wrote this novel in November, maybe I'll write all my novels via NaNoWriMo.
Maybe in November when NaNoWriMo comes around I'll have to blog about how well things are going without giving any details away because then I'm never motivated to finish. And I'm determined to write a novel this year. Again. Because I like writing. And While I love doing blogposts, my heart is with the fiction.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Beda: Day 11: The Freaking Fire Alarm.
So today was an interesting day. I didn't really have time to tell you guys about it earlier. Well, technically that's not actually true. I did have time. I was just using that time to start writing a work of fictional lit. Which is fine. That's what I do. You guys know I like doing that. Because you have seen "Enigma" because I posted it here. So you guys know about me being that kind of person. But no, that wasn't even what it was all about.
So I went to Stage Makeup and we did eighteenth century ladies which always becomes this garish almost clown like makeup because these women were crazy. And that was all good. The results of that are in the vlog today and so it should be really good. I think I'm going to unlist the clip of me taking all the makeup off. I think that would be interesting for people to see. I just don't know what's being discussed on the clip or what is possibly playing on my computer because it's quite possible that I'm playing music in the background.
But yeah, I took the makeup off and got all of my stuff ready and I'm watching my bestie braid another friend's hair when THE FREAKING FIRE ALARM GOES OFF. In the theatre building. Last time that happened, I had like a whole cast of actors taking care of me and freaking out. Because I'm epileptic and they love their stupid flashy lights for the fire alarm at school. And my teacher was like oh, it's not a big deal and then we had to explain the whole thing which needless to say freaked her out a little bit. But I got outside safely and without having any problems. The strangest part was that they didn't know it was going on. They had no clue what was going. What happened? Still not even sure.
So I was a little bit anxious, but we were allowed to go back into the building and so me and my bestie went to dance class and it went off again right as I set down my stuff. I headed out the doorway only for them to tell me it was a false alarm. Now, needless to say, I'm like always accompanied when there is a fire alarm going off in the building because I pretty much have to stare straight down at the ground or close my eyes and need someone to guide me. So this is a little insane. But I got out of dance class because I didn't need to be around that and it was only that building that was going off. Hopefully, they'll have fixed it by tomorrow.
But yeah, so I wrote for a long while. Because I had wanted to do that for a couple of days and I just had a couple of things that I needed to that got in the way. But today I got to write 1000 words. So that was fun. I really like getting into that zone where I can just type away. It's a nice feeling. And talking about that, I want to get back to it, so I'll see you soon.
So I went to Stage Makeup and we did eighteenth century ladies which always becomes this garish almost clown like makeup because these women were crazy. And that was all good. The results of that are in the vlog today and so it should be really good. I think I'm going to unlist the clip of me taking all the makeup off. I think that would be interesting for people to see. I just don't know what's being discussed on the clip or what is possibly playing on my computer because it's quite possible that I'm playing music in the background.
But yeah, I took the makeup off and got all of my stuff ready and I'm watching my bestie braid another friend's hair when THE FREAKING FIRE ALARM GOES OFF. In the theatre building. Last time that happened, I had like a whole cast of actors taking care of me and freaking out. Because I'm epileptic and they love their stupid flashy lights for the fire alarm at school. And my teacher was like oh, it's not a big deal and then we had to explain the whole thing which needless to say freaked her out a little bit. But I got outside safely and without having any problems. The strangest part was that they didn't know it was going on. They had no clue what was going. What happened? Still not even sure.
So I was a little bit anxious, but we were allowed to go back into the building and so me and my bestie went to dance class and it went off again right as I set down my stuff. I headed out the doorway only for them to tell me it was a false alarm. Now, needless to say, I'm like always accompanied when there is a fire alarm going off in the building because I pretty much have to stare straight down at the ground or close my eyes and need someone to guide me. So this is a little insane. But I got out of dance class because I didn't need to be around that and it was only that building that was going off. Hopefully, they'll have fixed it by tomorrow.
But yeah, so I wrote for a long while. Because I had wanted to do that for a couple of days and I just had a couple of things that I needed to that got in the way. But today I got to write 1000 words. So that was fun. I really like getting into that zone where I can just type away. It's a nice feeling. And talking about that, I want to get back to it, so I'll see you soon.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Beda: Day 9: IC Drama.
At home today and one thing I'm glad I'm not really part of. You know, the things? I'm actually proud I'm not in one of the many circles of drama that I know about. It's not really something that I really enjoy being a part of. I mean I'm part of a dramatic crowd normally but yeah, this is something that I don't enjoy.
Now, I mean I know I'm not the only one who just gets that glad feeling when I don't get in the middle of drama. Who actually wants to be a part of it? Who cares about the petty problems that other people have. Other people suck much balls. And quite frankly what I want is other people to just kind of get their heads out of their rear ends. Saying things on the internet in an insulting manner and starting a fight is dumb and I can't stand when people do it.
And this is coming from someone who has been bullied by someone online. I don't honestly give a damn about most people's opinions but you really have to take into consideration, who you're dealing with. Keep it calm and do as your mother said when you were little. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
And then there's personal life drama which I'm also glad I'm not a part of, it just seems so complicated and that's not the person I am right now. I'm someone who has a very different opinion on things than might be popular in the world. Guess how much I care? Oh did you guess more than zero? Sorry, that's wrong. It's zero. I care zero percent about how my opinions reflect the world's popular opinion. Because I'm not trying to demean anyone, I'm just putting it out there.
Also, don't be offended if you ask my opinion. I say that at the onset. Just doesn't work.
Now, I mean I know I'm not the only one who just gets that glad feeling when I don't get in the middle of drama. Who actually wants to be a part of it? Who cares about the petty problems that other people have. Other people suck much balls. And quite frankly what I want is other people to just kind of get their heads out of their rear ends. Saying things on the internet in an insulting manner and starting a fight is dumb and I can't stand when people do it.
And this is coming from someone who has been bullied by someone online. I don't honestly give a damn about most people's opinions but you really have to take into consideration, who you're dealing with. Keep it calm and do as your mother said when you were little. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
And then there's personal life drama which I'm also glad I'm not a part of, it just seems so complicated and that's not the person I am right now. I'm someone who has a very different opinion on things than might be popular in the world. Guess how much I care? Oh did you guess more than zero? Sorry, that's wrong. It's zero. I care zero percent about how my opinions reflect the world's popular opinion. Because I'm not trying to demean anyone, I'm just putting it out there.
Also, don't be offended if you ask my opinion. I say that at the onset. Just doesn't work.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Beda: Day 4: Allergic Reactions
So today I was sick for a while. I'm actually probably still sick. That's the horrible thing about being sick is that it doesn't really just go away. You have to barrel through it. And you know, if it was just that I may have survived without medication. But as always things couldn't be that f'ing simple.
So for those of you who don't know I take a stage makeup class. In the time that I've been in this class I've never used the spirit gum till today which was honestly probably a good thing. It's a special adhesive used for sticking stuff to skin and stuff for the screen and stage because sometimes you have to look a little different.
Today, our assignment was to do a scar which we did on our inner forearm which is a very reachable place and also probably a lot less sensitive than face skin. So I got my scar made out of tissue done and i paint some of the spirit gum on my arm, not a big deal. Lay down the scar, still not a big deal. Everything goes fine until I start to put the massive amount of spirit gum it takes to keep this magical scar in place at which point my arm starts to itch.
I didn't really think anything of it. I have sensitive skin that can change what it likes and dislikes on a dime. So I just thought I was being a wuss about this, until I took the scar off, at which point where it had been laid started forming a rash. And people started freaking out around me. So yeah, I took my spirit gum remover which was within reach and basically got it off as quickly as I could and then the rash went down which was good, turned out to be just an irritant that I have to be careful of. I love being in the theater but having sensitive skin is really hard in the business. Just have to live and learn. And that's what I've done.
Doesn't seem as scary now, but it certainly did in that moment when everyone else was freaking out about me which normally doesn't happen at all.
So for those of you who don't know I take a stage makeup class. In the time that I've been in this class I've never used the spirit gum till today which was honestly probably a good thing. It's a special adhesive used for sticking stuff to skin and stuff for the screen and stage because sometimes you have to look a little different.
Today, our assignment was to do a scar which we did on our inner forearm which is a very reachable place and also probably a lot less sensitive than face skin. So I got my scar made out of tissue done and i paint some of the spirit gum on my arm, not a big deal. Lay down the scar, still not a big deal. Everything goes fine until I start to put the massive amount of spirit gum it takes to keep this magical scar in place at which point my arm starts to itch.
I didn't really think anything of it. I have sensitive skin that can change what it likes and dislikes on a dime. So I just thought I was being a wuss about this, until I took the scar off, at which point where it had been laid started forming a rash. And people started freaking out around me. So yeah, I took my spirit gum remover which was within reach and basically got it off as quickly as I could and then the rash went down which was good, turned out to be just an irritant that I have to be careful of. I love being in the theater but having sensitive skin is really hard in the business. Just have to live and learn. And that's what I've done.
Doesn't seem as scary now, but it certainly did in that moment when everyone else was freaking out about me which normally doesn't happen at all.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Beda: Day 2: Procrastination
Okay, so I'm reminded of a joke from a meekakitty video. She said that her choir teacher told it. He would ask "Who here is good at procrastination"....and then people would raise their hand and then he would say "Then, why do need to keep practicing it?"
And yeah, I kind of wish that I had someone ask me that like a week ago when I should have been doing all this work that I'm doing right now. Thankfully, good news is that I got all the printing done and now it's all writing the write ups. Well, it's getting there. From the time this is coming to you, I've probably been working on the writing for about an hour or two and I've gotten about half of it done. And yeah, it's amazing what kind of fire you can get in when the fear of failing gets to you.
And I've always known I work the best under this kind of pressure that I have a deadline and I have to get it done and if I don't buckle down and do it immediately, that nothing will be done and there will be consequences. But usually I have at least some of it done before the mass writing spree that is things that I do. So yeah, I'm feeling a little stressed. I did however get PADA and VEDA done for today before I settled into the thick of the article reading and stuff.
This is the first like really intensive project that I've had to do this semester and I feel a little bad for letting it slack for as long as I did, but it's not like there's something that I can do about it and at the end of the day if this is what I need to, I guess there's no arguing with that. And it is good for my skin. The crazy skin I have which constantly craves the stress. Seriously, on Spring Break and relaxing weekends and stuff, I break out but such is not the case when I've got four major projects going on at the same time. So anyway, yeah. I just needed to talk about that.
Because yeah, my life for the next couple of day is going to be articles whenever I can. Hope this assignment comes out okay. :]
And yeah, I kind of wish that I had someone ask me that like a week ago when I should have been doing all this work that I'm doing right now. Thankfully, good news is that I got all the printing done and now it's all writing the write ups. Well, it's getting there. From the time this is coming to you, I've probably been working on the writing for about an hour or two and I've gotten about half of it done. And yeah, it's amazing what kind of fire you can get in when the fear of failing gets to you.
And I've always known I work the best under this kind of pressure that I have a deadline and I have to get it done and if I don't buckle down and do it immediately, that nothing will be done and there will be consequences. But usually I have at least some of it done before the mass writing spree that is things that I do. So yeah, I'm feeling a little stressed. I did however get PADA and VEDA done for today before I settled into the thick of the article reading and stuff.
This is the first like really intensive project that I've had to do this semester and I feel a little bad for letting it slack for as long as I did, but it's not like there's something that I can do about it and at the end of the day if this is what I need to, I guess there's no arguing with that. And it is good for my skin. The crazy skin I have which constantly craves the stress. Seriously, on Spring Break and relaxing weekends and stuff, I break out but such is not the case when I've got four major projects going on at the same time. So anyway, yeah. I just needed to talk about that.
Because yeah, my life for the next couple of day is going to be articles whenever I can. Hope this assignment comes out okay. :]
Sunday, April 1, 2012
I'm attempting it: BEDA, VEDA, and PADA.
So yeah, I knew for a long time I was going to do VEDA (Vlog everday in April) but really decide to BEDA (Blog Everday in April) or PADA (Photo A Day in April) until well today. Because I feel like I don't really have a lot going on and I want to spend as much time being creative as freaking possible, I'm doing all three. I don't really know why. But here it goes. The journey begins.
Now I've already done my vlog for today and that was quite curious and kind of funny which I wil embed in this post at the end, and I've already done my picture which can be found at (The Photo Life Nina) , but now it's time for my blog post and rather than introducing for the entire post, I wondered what to write about and then it hit me. I need to write about those things that really matter to me. I really want to talk about being creative.
I've never not wanted to be a creative person. The first job I can ever remember wanting as a kid was a professional writer. I knew back then that making something, creating, was in my bones. And I don't really approach that in any kind of special way. When I want to create something, I do. I've written excellent stories on this mentality and leaves me unfettered by that pesky writer's block or creativity block most of the time. I'm not saying that it's not a monster in my life because as a creative person I don't think you can get away from it, but I think that sometimes it's easier to misdirect than it is sometimes portrayed.
That being said that sometimes it's not always the most efficient way to get things done and sometimes I need that schedule because I live for the routine even though that kills me a little bit inside. So maybe doing this will do some good. I already know that from filming, making a habit of doing something everyday makes it feel weird when I don't do it. So let's carry that on into the rest of my creative processes. Hopefully it won't suck and hopefully some of the gems that come out of this whole mess of creativity, I will be happy with because god knows what will happen if I'm not happy with at least some of it. Actually nothing will actually happen. I'm just being dramatic, like I do.
Still, this is a good thing and I'm excited even if it seems all very stressful right now. Wish me luck! I love you guys and I hope you like this content that will coming at your faces in the next month.
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