Beda: Day 20: Sympathy.

Getting to see my sister this month is a treat.  We only really get to see her on weekends because that's when she's allowed off post and there's usually food of some kind involved.   Seriously, I don't know what it is about family and food but they just go together so perfectly and yes, that includes crazy sisters that when you were younger you wished you didn't have.

But I do get sympathetically sick fairly easily and one of the things my sister was talking about was getting a stomache at dinner and that was all fine and good and then guess what?  I got one and it was not all good anymore.  It was not good at all.  But these are the little moments.   And even with getting my stomach ache it's still not worse than what she has to, plus several other things.  So I'm feeling lucky and counting my blessings, who knew that making these time could be your best time.

Atleast so far, from what I've hear, being an adult is pretty cool and maybe I'll try it out one day.   Who knows?  Right now I'm just having with my inner kid.   Bye Guys and I'll see you guyes tomorrow.

Beda: Day 15: Philosophical Musings.

So today for everything I've done, I have little to show for it.   And I guess I'm being honest with you guys, that's nice.   That's a good thing.   We've got this anything goes honesty policy here.   I've been a lot more candid in writing stuff than I ever have been on the video blog.  Mainly because I express really well through writing.  I know that I can piss people off even if it isn't my intent in writing and I think that's oddly freeing.   Like I'm so worried about how people perceive me on the video blogs and I take like constant recognition of the numbers, but here it's less of that.  I'm more open and more to the point, I don't really care.

You'd think because of my background and everything that it's pretty much sunshine and roses through my life, but it's not and I accept that as fact.  I accept that as something that happens in my life.   I find that kind of comforting as well.   But I love bright colors and I love fun fonts and that is something that makes me happy.    So if it makes someone else happy even for just a split second and reading my accounts of my day connect with someone than this really has done it's job.   And that's a good thing.   I feel a lot more that I don't have to have a lot of stress.    This serves a better ratio of pleasure to words ratio.

In other news that isn't strange and philosophical, I found a great song.   Like freaking fantastic.  It's beautiful and intensely creepy but it's something that I enjoy so much, so I'm going to share it with you.   This is from the guys who made Repo! The Genetic Opera, so you have something to compare it to and if you haven't seen that then you need to get yourself down to a video store and rent it sir or ma'am.

I mean isn't it fantastic?  It's so delightfully creepy.  I can't wait to see if they make this one into a movie like Repo! and if they do I'm going to go see it.   Because it's soo good.  And Terrance Zdunich is so gorgeous in makeup.   Seriously, he's fairly normally looking without it but god, when he has the makeup on, he instantly has hot factor.

Beda: Day 13: A Love Story.

I fell in love and all at once.   Now, that's kind of a bold thing to say about another person.  I mean people are fickle creatures but there are other things that it makes sense to say such dramatic phrases about it. Like the art of Drama.  See what I did there?   Yeah, that's kind of my thing.   So I hoped you liked it. 

But I actually mean it.  I fell in love and all at once.  And I do this quite a lot with fiction.   I find something in it and I fall hopelessly in love with the idea.   It's what makes any type of story no matter what the medium matter.  You have to love it.   And love doesn't necessarily mean like it.   You can love a play and not like it.   You can "not love" the message, but it has to stir as great an emotion as love.   There's no two ways about it.   If it doesn't do that, then it's just meh and no one wants to be remembered as meh.  In fact no one is, because meh doesn't get a whole lot of talk.

Tonight's acquisiton of love was with Cabaret and all the performances.  Now, as needing to see the show anyway, it wasn't like anyone forced my hand to see the show.   In fact, even if I hadn't needed to see I would have wanted to and made the time to come.   Many of my friends were in the production and well, I want to support them.   But above all that, they are professionals.   They are actors who love the stage and the act of performance and they gave a stand up act. 

That's something I really haven't seen. The Stand-up act.   This is a show that everyone stood for at the end because it was beautifully done.   It was skillfully executed and your heart broke with characters.   You knew what was happening and you felt it in your bones.   It wasn't just an act.  It was a real and that's the best thing that a performance can do.  It can make you feel the realness of the situation.

And with it, I give my heart gladly.   There was so much to talk about.   And I would reccomend that anyone see a production if they can.   It's something important.  It made me sad to hear the chatter around me that people didn't know it was about Nazis.  I was pretty sure everyone knew that much.   Or at least that they might have the decency to look a few things up before they came to the show.   But I won't  complain too much because the theatre was full and everyone stood.   That is all I can wish.   And I know that the Theatre is still alive and kickin' no matter what Hollywood has to say about it. 

There will always be theatre.   There will always be the people who go to Theatre productions and for that, I can only say thank you.   It's a magical place that I hope everyone has a chance to see something from at least once in their lives.   Because it's something that just old people do.   It's something that people do because they have a love of a performance.   And love creates love.

Beda: Day 12: Sitting, Internet, Theatre, and Books.

So today, I'm going to try and not be all cross even though I want to be.  Because that's wrong and you guys don't deserve it.  Not everything in my life is bad but sometimes it feels that way.   And really in the scheme of things, today was a relatively good day.  I just did a lot of useless sitting.   And that's something that I really kind of hate.   I mean I LIKE sitting, but I don't want to just sit.  I want to do something.  I want to be learning something or actively doing something of my choosing.

When I'm at school and have these longs breaks where I'm just sitting around, I'm more passive than at any point in my life.   It's just not fun to sit around and do the cool things when you think everyone in the building could potentially run over and look over your shoulder.   And that's just, that's really not something you ever want to have happen.  It's not fun.   So I spend most of my time refreshing Youtube or going on some of the safer sites.   I still keep my twitter up in the background, but there are things that I just don't get to do at school which is not what I want to do.   Then to top it off, today, my scene partner bailed.   And this was honestly one of the most important days that she could have bailed on.   And it just boggles my mind.   I mean short of open heart surgery she really should have pushed it off until later and come because she's not only affecting her grade, but mine.

But thankfully Tim understood about the entire situation.   He really is a lovely man and I cannot say enough good things about him.   I can't wait for tomorrow when I get to see Cabaret as a patron of the arts.  I've heard really good things about his rendition and so many of my friends are in the play and it's just so exciting.   More exciting than anything you guys can possibly imagine if you aren't in the realm of the theatre.  It isn't like a movie premiere, it's something quite more altogether, I think for everyone involved.   So yeah, that's a thing in my life. 

But other than that, I started a new book, that I'm about a quarter of the way done with.   I need to read more over the summer, which actually shouldn't be a problem.   I'm a fairly fast reader when I don't have school to interfere with things.   So yes, I'm not technically behind yet, but I was very close to being if I didn't read a book this month and I have so that is very good.   I need to find some new books...and convince my mom to let me buy some new books.  Because yeah, I want more books.   I want so many books and I just don't know where to start crossing books off the list.   Seriously my main two expenditures in adult life: books and food.   Who would buy anything else?

Maybe in a couple of days, for BEDA, I will do a book review.   Who knows?   I certainly don't.  These things go day by day and now I think I'm going to write some more.

Beda: Day 11: The Freaking Fire Alarm.

So today was an interesting day.  I didn't really have time to tell you guys about it earlier.    Well, technically that's not actually true.  I did have time.   I was just using that time to start writing a work of fictional lit.   Which is fine.  That's what I do.  You guys know I like doing that.   Because you have seen "Enigma" because I posted it here.   So you guys know about me being that kind of person.  But no, that wasn't even what it was all about.

So I went to Stage Makeup and we did eighteenth century ladies which always becomes this garish almost clown like makeup because these women were crazy.   And that was all good.   The results of that are in the vlog today and so it should be really good.  I think I'm going to unlist the clip of me taking all the makeup off.  I think that would be interesting for people to see.   I just don't know what's being discussed on the clip or what is possibly playing on my computer because it's quite possible that I'm playing music in the background. 

But yeah, I took the makeup off and got all of my stuff ready and I'm watching my bestie braid another friend's hair when THE FREAKING FIRE ALARM GOES OFF.  In the theatre building.  Last time that happened, I had like a whole cast of actors taking care of me and freaking out.   Because I'm epileptic and they love their stupid flashy lights for the fire alarm at school.   And my teacher was like oh, it's not a big deal and then we had to explain the whole thing which needless to say freaked her out a little bit.   But I got outside safely and without having any problems.   The strangest part was that they didn't know it was going on.   They had no clue what was going.   What happened?  Still not even sure. 

So I was a little bit anxious, but we were allowed to go back into the building and so me and my bestie went to dance class and it went off again right as I set down my stuff.   I headed out the doorway only for them to tell me it was a false alarm.   Now, needless to say, I'm like always accompanied when there is a fire alarm going off in the building because I pretty much have to stare straight down at the ground or close my eyes and need someone to guide me.   So this is a little insane.   But I got out of dance class because I didn't need to be around that and it was only that building that was going off.  Hopefully, they'll have fixed it by tomorrow.

But yeah, so I wrote for a long while.   Because I had wanted to do that for a couple of days and I just had a couple of things that I needed to that got in the way.  But today I got to write 1000 words.   So that was fun.   I really like getting into that zone where I can just type away.   It's a nice feeling.   And talking about that, I want to get back to it, so I'll see you soon.  

Beda: Day 10: Matt and Andrew.

So yeah, I almost forgot to do my blog and photo tonight but I'm doing it.  I'm doing this.   I'm not failing these challenges.   So now we talk about the day and stuff.   Because that's what people do on blogs and I'm like a legitimate person of letters.   Yes, ten o'clock and I forget these things but when there is still time.

So today was Matt Bomer day which to anyone who isn't me or one of my friends is the name I gave today because Glee was on and Matt Bomer was guest-starring.   He's just plain gorgeous.  I mean in my VEDA, I gave you my celebrity crush as Jack Davenport, but let's not be unreal, I have a lot of celebrity crushes and Matt is one of them.   I mean it's hard not to like him.   He just seems so damn nice and he acts well and he's gorgeous.   He's all the best qualities wrapped up into one man.

Today, I also got to really get in depth into the mind of Cecily Cardew who I thoroughly enjoy as a character.   She's quite unlike many of the other characters I have played who always kind of have these over the top emotions or feelings.   And Cecily is kind of wonderfully normal.   I adore her for that because it's so different to be.

And I watched all the monday shows which I didn't get to yesterday, there were many things that I could tell you about but most of that would bore you.   This blog after all is not about all the TV shows I watch but indeed about my life.   Keeping with that, there was not really much at all going on in my life.

Oh, wait a minute!  There is one thing.  While Browsing twitter today, I thought I had not been following Andrew Slack, the director of the Harry Potter alliance.   So I went to look for him and found that I was following him.   Naturally, of course, I tweeted about this funny story.   And he tweeted me back.  HE TWEETED ME BACK!  That was so freaking insane.   I feel like a prepubescent girl at a one direction concert.   And then he followed me which was just a great more deal of pleasure.   So yeah, that was the really interesting part of the day.

Beda: Day 8: The Little Moments Theory.

Okay, so I'm going to do this in segments because today has just been too awesome for words and I know that if I try to do it all in one take tonight, I will miss something important, so here we go.   I'm doing something for you guys and attempting this one earlier.   See already, on a good start with my beda challenges.   That's some good stuff.

I haven't talked about it here because I assume anyone who knows about me, knows me from my video blogs and that's something I take pride in.   I really like the video blogs and I remember to tell them everything.   One thing, I haven't told you guys around here who read this if you even do, is that my amazing sister who is going to AIT in the city but has not bee able to come home got to come to the house today.   And I couldn't be more excited.   We thought that she was only going to be here for the evening for the dinner and stuff but no, instead it was much more than that.   She came over at like 11 and cooked for us.

Now, I'm a sucker for food anyway but this was just amazing.   Really just delicious.  She wanted to cook and she did it and it was soooooo good.   I don't even care that in my editor I have a red squiggly under that so.   It was that good.   She made french toast and I was just in Heaven.   So far that's all that's happened but there will be more.   Right now, I'm just taking it easy, knowing she's here and knowing that very soon we will have my dad home for two weeks and it'll just be good.

And there was the inbetween lunch/dinner.   We do this kind of frequently at my house around the holidays mainly because all of us are hungry and it gives us more time to socialize and be together as a family/friends.   But yeah, that was Lasagna, my mom's homemade and it was freaking amazing.   It always is, but it was freaking amazing.   God, I love food so much.   And this just all around turned out to be such a wonderful day that I can't even really explain it all to you, but it was just delicious and succulent in a way that most of us can at least on some level understand.

Today was a reaffirmation of the little moments theory.   It's the little things that count.   Like sitting aorund a dinner table and making fun of each other or telling stories or ghoulish nightmares or even showing photos and sharing candy.   If someone told me I could go back and relive this day and go anywhere in the world to do it, I wouldn't.  I liked it just the way it was.  It was perfect even if it really wasn't.

Beda: Day 7: It's been a week.

It's been a week and what a week it has been.   I've talked about a lot of things on this blog, but not really how well the blog is going.   So I guess that's what I'll talk about today because that just seems kind of chill and whatnot.  And I'm always down for chill.   I hope you guys are too.   But since I can't see you and this is my blog, guess what?   Going on with it anyway.

One of the things I've noticed is that I've done these pretty much all late at night, making sure I have something interesting to say to you guys.   I mean I think I may have put my Team Youtube one up a little bit earlier, but not much.  It was still evening when that one went up if it went up earlier than the night because that's how I roll.   I mean I just want to make sure that I capture everything for you guys and this is something that I strive to do.   So I want to make it as good as possible.   But that also means a lot of other things.

Like the potential that I could forget one of these and then lose my challenges, which I don't think so.  Not going to happen.   So yeah, next week my challenge is to get at least two blogs up earlier than evening no later than Day 14.   Maybe we'll make that a habit.   These little challenges keep me motivated to do better and to find more time to write and stuff in my daily life.   Because I'm here for you guys but I'm also here for me.   And what I need is to find some greater confidence about these blogs.

I know not many people, if any people at all read my blogs.   They would much rather watch me on the vlogs, but still this is who I am.  I want to do this so that maybe someone stumbles across this blog and for one second I make their life better.  If that happens, I will have done my job.   So anything to keep it new and fresh and entertaining because entertaining is a whole new ball game for me but something I want to enjoy. 

These have been fairly long though and that's something I'm proud of.   I'm writing because I want to write and that's who I am.   Not because I just thought it would be fun to do a challenge.   No, I really did want to challenge myself and make new content across several fields that weren't getting as much content.   And it's a full job running all of these things but I'm glad I'm doing it.   I'm glad I'm having a good time and doing as much as I can. 

Ulitmately, I'm feeling strong about how little time it takes if you just plan some stuff out and have the confidence to go through with it.  I never thought I would be doing a week's worth of vlogs consecutively but here I am.  I'm growing stronger.   And I hope to keep it going for the next three weeks and three days.

Beda: Day 5: Team YouTube

Today for me has been all about Team YouTube.  

I'm aware that some of you might not be aware of what that is.   It's the first season of the new series, Escape Routes, which is a reality show on NBC.   It's all about social media in the modern world and uses that to actually affect the outcomes of the show.

Now, as you guys know, I'm a YouTuber.   I'm a vlogger.   And I very much stand behind the people who christened themselves from the start "Team YouTube," Brett and Ross.   They are so awesome.  Literally there are not enough words in our language for me to espouse their greatness.  It's just awesome.   And it helps that they are so nice and try to answer as much as possible.

Today, I woke up thinking about Team YouTube because it's just great, it finds so much freedom.   It has things that are literally just blowing my mind.   But the biggest thing about Team YouTube is how quickly they got people to rally and how quickly we are to form the community.   That's the great thing about this.   It takes our great community aspect and throws it into making the best team it possibly can and see how they measure up.

It shows that YouTube isn't just that crazy corporate thing that it is portrayed as.  It's still us.   We're still in it to win it.   We love it and we are the ones who define it with our community.   They didn't win the challenge and so the prize did not go to our community but they did get the fastest times on the social media bit and it was just phenomenal.   I couldn't believe it.   Being part of this is being part of a family.

It's challenging to love people so quickly, but facillitating the exchange of thoughts and ideas makes it so much easier, especially when you can see people's faces.   It provides so much in this digital age to connect to.   If Brett and Ross don't personify that I don't know what does.

Beda: Day 3: Compliments and Hard Work

With my latest blog post about how i've been horribly procrastinating on my assignment which is do tomorrow, I've become a little more confident in things.   I've done some beautiful work in the past twenty four hours, typing reviews and printing articles like a boss. 

Honestly, I think I needed someone to be responsible to.   I know it seems weird, but since I posted that blog I've had that feeling of "someone will be disappointed in me if I don't do this." and so I've done it.  I knew I needed to do it before and I even knew that the deadline was tomorrow, I just didn't do it.   Not until I really set myself up to do it.  Which meant telling the entire world about what I haven't done yet.   And yes, I'm a little bit ashamed of myself for having to stoop to that level, but it gave me the encouragement I needed.  

Now, I've got twenty-five articles done with just five more to go to review.   Compared to the fact that none were done before this week, I put that in the plus column.   I can do things that I don't like to do, I just have to work harder at them and have the inspiration to do them.   Which is why I love the internet sooo much.   I pretty much live here and you guys are my roommates ready to call me out on not doing my shit.   Because you won't take it.  People want to see the best for me.   And that's what I get just from writing these little BEDA blogs on the internet.

On a more positive note of schoolworthy things, I got my critique back from my professor in acting for my shakespeare monologue.   Let me first preface this whole paragraph with the fact that I've known this man for three semesters and he makes me want to be better.   I've always taken what he says to heart.   I like his feedback, I think it's insightful.   Most of all, I just respect him so much.   He gave me the best review he's given me.   And anything else just vanished.   All the crap I dealt with during the day, it just went out into the universe because he cared about my work and liked it.   And he's a teacher that I know wouldn't just blow smoke at me because he thinks it would make me feel better.   He really is committed to seeing all of his actors do their best work.

School is one of those things I find so enamouring.   I find the idea that I can learn so many new skill sets just a wonder.   I want to learn as much as I possibly can and it makes me feel like the absolute best to be in a class with people who care.   So far, I've been very lucky in that I've met people and had classes that I really truly cared about.   There was one class that was hard and I didn't really care about, but it was the exception to the rule.  I find that I might be the only person I know who shares that opinion of school.   There is so much to explore and learn out there, why wouldn't you want to have that knowledge?  With so many things to do, why not try them all?